I am approaching forty. I feel I am getting into the famous mid life crisis. This is somehow difficult to manage these days, you should take care of the work and the family, you don't want your kids pay for your hesitation, no time to think about existential questions and no solitude, Which is alright, that is my choice. The worse thing is the feeling that you do not know exactly who you are and you are not understanding and doing things properly especially concerning the belief, values and ethics.