At the bottom of my heart I really badly want to kick the Americans' butts. You know it is a desire, it is something that would make me a bit relieved because of all their interventionist behaviors, but it is not the solution to anything. The problem is that why should any asshole like America be able to piss us off? Why during the contemporary history we have been manipulated so easy? Instead of working on our historical weaknesses we started to point at people and accusing them of being the root cause which is completely wrong, USA is not the cause of all the misfortunes we are dealing with, they are taking advantage of it, they are riding the wave, they don't create it. I am not saying they can't or they have not conspired at all, they have but in smaller scales. Our case, the Iranian case is different. We have to have a look at ourselves, why an asshole like USA should be able to piss us off at all?
We are not working wisely, we don't have democracy, we don't have any respect for our national interests, unlike Americans our national interests come after bunch of other unattainable and virtual stuff that in long run just destroy our limited resources and own people, we don't have any long term plan, we don't know who can be a friend (I am talking about Arab countries that are bunch of cowards not worth to be trusted at all).
Behaving emotional rather than rational is what has made our politics so destructive and dysfunctional.

This is a difficult time; there will be lots of difficulties for Iranian people. The current nuclear crisis running between Iran and USA could be avoided somehow if the Iranian side was a little bit smarter, thinking a bit more like living on earth rather than in the sky. Fundamentally USA or any other country has no right to impose any kind of nuclear behavior on Iran as long as Iran is abiding to the international protocols and agreements. Iran could be a bit smarter in order to delay or even avoid any irrational international reaction initiated and promoted by USA. I think Ahmadi Nejad did a great job on behalf of USA and Israel. For me the international laws or protocols are all jokes, to find out who has the right for access to nuclear power is as simple as the following:
If you already have nuclear capabilities (military or civil) then having nuclear capabilities is your right, if you don't possess such technology yet it is not your right.

As a result of stupid people governing Iran and their very smart and experienced opponents, we end up loosing more of our sovereignty. What is the difference between Ahmadi Nejad and Ghajariyeh losers? We lost part of Iran at that time and now the whole Iran is on stake!
I like to call Ahmadi Nejad the big FART, He is so annoying.

Yesterday most of the morning at work I was daydreaming about going back to school and pursue the career of teaching. Unbelievable, I was so happy, my colleague was asking me which drug I was on. It was so good, I am getting tired of this dead line driven unfriendly work environment, I wish I could go back to school, just this crap life style with all the expenses and...
for now I keep on dreaming.

I was watching a documentary called "The end of Suburbia". It was about the dependency of the american life style on oil. Warning that before too long we will see the oil reserves depleted and then dramatically we won't be able to live the way we do now. What the film makers are forecasting for that time is war for oil. Actually they are saying that with the war in Iraq The long lasting "war for oil" has already started.

Procrastination,
I just found out that there is a very serious research field in psychology dealing with that. The interesting part of an article I was reading about procrastination was that if it has an internal cause, that is difficult to get rid of. Fear of success and failiur are among the internal causes for procrastinating or avoiding a particular task. We are complicated animals,

It is a very sad situation in Iraq. How emotional they are. How emotional we are. I think one of the most sacred things is human life, no abstraction, real and touchable. The reactions are just not right, I am not saying "who cares what happened to the shrine" if people think that "The Shrine" is sacred so it is sacred, but the reactions are just off the scale, brother kills brother. We blame Israelis and Americans killing Moslems! Nonsense.
I don't know, It is sad.

In our society and culture the nation has lots of attention and respect but the individuals are not as respected and attentioned. Who cares if individuals are in trouble or danger on a daily basis by their own government or compatriots? But if a foreign identity says something against any icon related to "Iran", that is blasphemy, this is in the culture, no good.

This is a bit political, I am a bit pissed off by the recent noises and religious back and forth going on between Europe and Moslems in general. Something so general that there is no fucking way you can say as a Moslem (even a non practicing one like me) that you don't care, something well done to put all Moslems from any political and sectarian background in the same row,
Why do they do that? It reminds me of the kind of psychological tortures that has been designed and performed on male Moslem inmates since a long time in Israel and recently in Abou Gharib in Iraq and Guantanamo bay. I don't believe discussion between civilizations is a genuine thing, this is just a hopeful wish, what is true and is happening right now is the clash between civilizations. That is how it works, how it has been and how it will be. These guys are rushing in to it, they know Moslems are in no good shape right now, that is the best time, the respect and all the other shit is just good to talk about in books, whose fault is that? It is all our fault. I don't blame any American or western country for any of that, we are an easy target, so vulnerable and fragile that even a baby can make us dance.
we did not take life as serious as we should, now we pay for that,

I am a bit messed up. Too busy at work and the same at home. My mood has been going up and down like a yoyo, anyways.
I read frequently the hoder's weblog, for his posts and people's comments. He has gone to Israel for a visit. As he calims to conduct a dialog between civilizations. Looking at him and what he has done in past few years I would give him a positive credit. I am not sure about his personal intentions (I am not him!) but overall the outcome has been constructive.
At least he is doing something,

Look at the moon, not the clouds

When I read about depression and its symptoms in people, I am amazed how they are applicable to nations (as a whole, beyond individuals) as well. In that sense coulsd you call a nation or society depressed? if yes middle eastern societies, in general, are good examples for depression at national level.
Can a society be manic-depressive? Or schizophrenic?

There are principal flaws in the Shia belief which is totally against what Islam was or claimed to offer initially. One thing that is stressed a lot in Qur'an is monotheism and the uniqueness of God and that he has created the world alongside with the rules to govern it. Superstition has been attacked from the first days of Islam and that ideology gave the new Moslems' minds the courage to get free from chaos and go to discover those rules. Now after so many years we are defying those early principles and the chaos is back in our minds and lives.
I am talking about Emam_e_Zamaan and Tavassol.

If we, the moslems could take the pain of believing that God is not there to take care of us, nothing is going to change or to be different for us, and if you don't take care of yourself and your people nobody including God will.

I am approaching forty. I feel I am getting into the famous mid life crisis. This is somehow difficult to manage these days, you should take care of the work and the family, you don't want your kids pay for your hesitation, no time to think about existential questions and no solitude, Which is alright, that is my choice. The worse thing is the feeling that you do not know exactly who you are and you are not understanding and doing things properly especially concerning the belief, values and ethics.

Is God Fair?

I am really oscillating between belief and disbelief. The image of god the way which is explained in Abrahamic religions has some contradictions in it. He is all powerful and able to do anything and he is fair. At the same time under his command the most unfair things are happening. There are two possibilities for me, the first one is that God is not fair, or fairness should be redefined.
If I am capable of preventing innocent people from suffering , but I don't then I am not fair, at least in human standards.

I don't believe in the good nature of the human being. I think we are animals, like many other animals that if not instructed will operate exclusively under the influence of our instincts. The difference, I mean the big difference is in our intelligence.
Look at the small kids and toddlers, how selfish and cruel they are (with smaller ones or weaker) and if there is no do and don't from the parent they won't realize the good from the bad (the human values ) by themselves. Conclusion: the human values and what we know as humanity is the product of the human mind and intelligence, a system of values is a must for social life, otherwise we never could come to have a collective life in a big society.

I am reaching to a painful and disturbing conclusion concerning God and religion. There is no solid proof (the kind of proof we like and we are used to in science and our everyday life) for the existence of God. I have rased and told as if such thing exists and that God as defined in Abrahamic religions is such an obvious concept. No doubt, there are signs of him being there but they are signs mostly backed up by our biased common sense.
I would not even listen to anybody who claims to offer any solid proof about existence of God.
Does it really matter? Isn't that the same thing as Molavi said: the people of reason (philosophers and scientists) got wooden feet?
Believing in God and rest of it is a very personal matter (I don't like widely encouraged concept of collective activities in religion which avoids the "wandering about" and "Doubt") , a matter of heart and not reason.
In that case what religeons are all about?

Ahmadi nejad does not deserve the position he is holding. He is dealing and talking to international community the same way he would and is resolving national issues. He is making a very easy military target out of Iran. If he continues to behave irresponsibly (as a president) I don't think after a while any foreign country specially Isreal would need any strong justification for any preemptive strike against Iranian targets. Actually Ahmadi Nejad is ruining very quickly what khatami had done in 8 years.
May be Ahmadi nejad is what is needed at national level for people and the moderate elite to find out a way out of this mess just for the sake of Iran and the nation.